Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Road Less Traveled...

Not sure where to begin this one. Rachel is the sweetest little thing imaginable. She is everything we dreamed of and so much more. We waited for 18 months to get her home. We endured the longest ever paper chase and had faith that the money for fees would be there when needed.

We knew her special need was a little open ended, meaning we knew about the limb difference and through pictures and updates knew she had an issue with her eyes. She has a few other medical issues and maybe a syndrome, possibly dwarfism. We have appointments with an ortho doc, an optomologist and a genetics counselor. I am ok with all this.

My main concern is with her walking, I don't want her spine to become crooked as she walks more or her hip to have troubles. The eye thing isn't a big deal either, we'll deal with that to. As for the genetics, I am not really sure.

Do I want to know? I mean really, is it going to make a difference to me? Will it matter if she has a syndrome or is a little person? To me, no, it won't make a bit of difference. She will still be the same little girl who wakes up with a smile. She will still be the same girl we waited for, prayed for and loved.

She may have some challenges, but really who in their lifetime hasn't?

And to those that have told me, what were you thinking? Can't you call the agency or send her back? Shame on you!! She is our daughter and always will be. It doesn't matter what special needs she has or doesn't have, she is and always will be our daughter.


Faith, Hope, and Love said...

Seriously?? Someone said that to you?? Obviously they do NOT get it! She is a not puppy that you picked up from the pound. Yes, SHAME on them to have such disregard for life. Everyone deserves to be loved...everyone! Okay...sorry...that just got my blood boiling. It's called unconditional love people!

We went thru the genetic testing for Mia Hope. Mia Hope does have a syndrome...but there is no way to name her syndrome without knowing the family medical history.

Stay the course. They have so much help out there for these little ones. You will be amazed by the changes this time next year! :)

Rachel is a doll baby!!!

Hugs and blessings,

Tracie said...

Well put !!!!! She was your daughter before you knew she was your daughter. God does not make mistakes when giving us our children !!!!

Julie said...

Well said! She is a very beautiful little girl too. No matter what syndrome may show up.

Olivia's Mom said...

Hi Desiree! I sent you an email, please check. Rachel is beautiful!

Mom to my China Posse said...

Shes definately meant to be your daughter and shame on those who say differant! Over the years I have had friends who think were crazy for adopting and you know what they never changed my mind one bit........I just changed friends. lol........

Leese Family said...

We will be praying that the Dr's that you take Rachel to will be loving and compassionate and be able to provide you with honest answers on how to best help Rachel. Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts and feelings! Rachel's smile is absolutely infectious!!! :)


Holly said...

uh-uh NO THEY DIDN'T! aaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girl...sometimes, some people are just clueless.
I say, if it is helpful to find out if there is a syndrome then find out but bottom line is the love isn't any more or any less regardless of the outcome.
Dear person who seriously suggested or even entertained the THOUGHT that perhaps they should get a refund or exchange...obviously you haven't the foggiest...please..don't speak anymore.

Tina Michelle said...

Seriously someone said that to you???? wow. some people should just not open their mouths.

She is a doll. Finding out some genetic testing stuff might be helpful in her growth.

Sharon Ankerich said...

Completely beautiful and completely your daughter!!!

Greg and Steph said...

I am praying for you! It is difficult facing the unknown. But, our strength and peace comes from the fact that NOTHING is UNKNOWN to our Father. His hand is upon you and your family. One of our girls has a syndrome...the syndrome I dreaded and stayed in denial about for many months. But, God creatively designed our children. I tell HG that he was particularly artistic the day he formed her. I know that hearing all of this doesn't help. It is hard. 8 surgeries later, I realize that though I felt overwhelmed and out of control...He was always in control. I am praying for grace and peace to cover your heart and soul.
Much LOVE!

Sherri said...

Faith, Hope and Love said it!! Shame on people for thinking such a thing. I'm asked often about are we sure we want to do this, well yes I have waiting almost 4 yrs for nothing...we're still waiting.

And Rachel is a cutie pie!!

God Bless,

Jill said...

Oh goodness! Please tell me people have NOT said those things??? I swear some people need a edit or rewind button near their mouths.....

Rachel is nothing short of a precious gift from God! ENJOY your gift!

Jennifer O'Cain said...

I'm actually not surprised that someone said that. I have seen rude and inconsiderate comments towards adoptive families time and time again. The truth is they just don't get it and they may never. I have been hurt by these comments as well but those that have been blessed by adoption know what a blessing it is to parent these precious children.

We went through a similar process with our daughter. She was adopted with an unknown SN but has had numerous broken bones. We have seen every speciality and had genetic testing. I would recommend going through it because even though we didn't find out what and if there is anything wrong with her at all we were able to rule out some more serious genetic disorders. Our best answers came from the endocrinologist and she is going to follow our daughter through adulthood.

I pray for you and your family as you go through this.

Jennifer O'Cain

Boy oh Boy oh Boy! said...

I can't believe someone said that to you! It breaks my heart when people just don't get it! Rachel is so precious and so perfect just the way God made her! Love her smile!!

Amy P.

Mike and Rhonda said...

Now that post brought tears to my eyes. Mad tears, sad tears and tears that she is finally home where she belongs.

Rachel is beautiful and your family is especially beautiful.


mom2three said...

She is beautiful, precious and created by our Creator. Shame on them!

Anonymous said...

It is wonderful to see your family embrace the unknows with your beautiful little girl. Honestly, how can it be any different than if you would have given birth to her? Our son was born with Down Syndrome and it was a complete surprise, not something we expected at all. Yet, we could never see ourselves without him in our lives. Shame on those people who think that children no matter how they come to us should be disowned just because it turned out they were different than what we wanted or expected.

I think your daughter is beautiful and amazing. I know that others will see that too given the chance. Coming from a mom who has had to deal with a lot of obstacles in her life, what doesn't break youj just makes you stronger. Continue to move on and learn to turn a deaf ear to those who aren't supportive.

Big hugs!!

Harp Mama said...

Dear Desiree and Kerry,

People are odd sometimes. Many don't seem to understand that our children are our children with whatever skills, challenges, and talents they happen to come with. Our privilege as parents is to do our very best throughout life to teach our children to work with what they were given, strive to reach their dreams, and to be ever grateful for this life we lead and throughout all to know how deeply we love them just as they are.

With that said, I highly recommend you proceed with genetic counseling. As a physician, I spent a good amount of time training with a genetic specialist and it was obvious how much benefit it can be to just know about ways to understand what your child is experiencing. It can often provide a lot of information about ways to help your child to reach their goals and also can give you things to achieve, things to exceed, and ways to accept. I have a good friend who has a 5 year old with achondroplasia (a type of dwarfism) and it has been helpful for them to talk with physicians well-versed in his needs in order for them to know their son's body well and to be able to assist in understanding his needs over time. He is doing wonderfully, by the way and is such a dear.

My recently adopted daughter's challenges are definitely more dramatic than expected as they were hard to express and to anticipate. And I think it just makes me love her more, if that is at all possible. What a resilient, happy, dear soul. It is truly my privilege to be her mother.

Keep teaching the clueless. You are doing a great job.