Have you ever done something that you really didn't want to do....something you said you would wait on because you really needed it like you need a hole in your head...
You know what I'm talking about, right? All the way up to the nice guys house and on into the kennel I kept telling the kids....this is not gonna happen, we are so not going to buy this puppy.
And then, I looked at her sweet face and the guy went down on price because she was the last one left....and I held her because I just had to you know??
And that was it, my heart melted and I knew that there was no way I was leaving that house without her. Just no way. Plus I had 6 of the 7 kids with me and there was no way they were going to let me leave without her...
So, here she is Ms. Daisy..i think Ms. Daisy....I can't remember that name and it just doesn't fit her...I think. So I am open to suggestions...
J has been with us 7 months now~ And things are....ok. I wouldn't say great and I wouldn't say awful. Things just are~
Some days are wonderful and everything goes smoothly. He acts like any other normal 6 almost 7 year old.
Other days things are not so good. That's the reality when you adopt an older child. They come with alot of baggage and bad memories and maybe if you are lucky some good memories.
J had a foster mom. And even if she never tucked him in at night or had time to read him a book or even walk him to school (at age 4!!) She was still his mom. Someone he loved and had an attachment to. A mom I have had to compete with.
J has basicly been taking care of himself since he was 2. He lived with his foster mom but she was a busy lady and had quite a few responibilities.
I asked him the other day how many meals he had during the day. His reply, 2. No snacks, no in between foods, just 2. Sometimes he would get chicken feet if they had to run an errand and he was a good boy. Now I understand why my almost 7 year old is the size of my 4 year old.
And the school thing. I asked him if he attended school. (fully knowing he did, just wanted his prospective and not China's) He said yes, he did. I asked him how he got there. He said he walked, mostly by himself, sometimes with a friend.
Ouch~ If you have ever been to China you know how busy the streets are and no traffic laws or lights. When asked how far he walked he said it was long long way, much longer than walking to Grandpa and Grandma's house. They live 4 blocks away. Wow, a 4 year old in China walking alone to school. Can you imagine?
Makes me understand his bonding and trauma issues a little better. Doesn't make it any easier but my understanding and attitude are a bit different now. Which helps. That and lots of praying.
That's not to say we dont have our issues and he may still run out of the house half dressed and screaming "I hate you" (yes he has done this) or hitting, kicking and spitting on me or his siblings.
(yes this has happened also) Thankfully most of it seems directed at me. We have also had days where he has missed school because he was raging at the time. And that is ok to.
He doesn't know how to deal with his emotions in a healthy way yet. But with counseling, things are getting a bit better. And yes, do not be afraid to seek out help. It doesn't make you a failure at all.
They may be just the non partial people to help. And a good healthy cry is also helpful. But once done, get back up, wash off your face and get back to it. Because it will get better. Some days will seem like you are backtracking but that one day you get that unprompted "i luba you ma" will make it all worth it.
God brought Josh into our lives for a reason and he is our son. Days may not always be sunny and fun but that folks is parenting. And in a few years or maybe months God willing we will have our routine back and a son who really wants and loves to be a part of our family.
Being honest about the home transition is tough in adoption land....Everyone wants to think it's all sunshine and roses. And mostly, it is. But when you adopt an older child it's a little different.
The child comes with preconceived notions and a whole slew of history that you were not apart of. And if you are lucky, your child was fostered and has learned to atttach and form relationships.
With J and I we had this dance, two steps forward one step back. Always with him doing great and then for no reason acting out and being, well just awful to me and some of his siblings.
Long story short our local adoption clinic gave us this wonderful book.
You can find the book by clicking on the picture.
It has been a life saver for us. Seriously, overnight things have been more calm. Which is great, because with 7 kids when we have a little drama it turns into a lot of drama.
The book has also helped me understand quite a bit about my reactions to things and helped spin everything in a positive way. Which is a great thing.
I have a very dear friend, her name is Robin. I have known her since we adopted Hope way back in 2006....even before. We have traded quilt squares for 100 good wishes quilts and she has mentored me in sewing, even helping us out when we fundraised our way through 4 adoption.
And now Robin and her family are steppig out once again in faith and bringing home sweet baby Grace.
This sweetheart is special to me as she is from our Gracie's orphanage.
And I want to help Robin so that she doesnt have to spend all her time sewing and missing her family.
So, I have decided to have a Scentsy fundraiser for her. All profits from all sales I get from
September 14 until September 30, will go towards their adoption of Grace.
All you have to do to place an order is visit my site here.
Place your order and thats it, when I get paid October 1, I will send Robin the check!! Easy Peasy!!