Where to start....

First of all I will be starting up my sewing site again, very soon. I will be sewing things and posting them on a first come first serve type basis, kind of like what Robin did for Mia Hope on her site.

I am excited because I have found the cutest patterns. The first one I have named the Sophie Shirt/dress in honor of my friend Tami and the referral of her daughter Sophie....

Sorry, for the terrible picture. Hope has never wanted to model for me.... The top here is super cute, with a removable bow. I paired it with denim capri's from Gymb*ree. Hope you like it Tami!!!

The next one I will make a little longer for a dress and add a hair bow. If anyone has a comment about sizes they would like, that would give me an idea on where to start....

Anyway, back to the point I was trying to make. I have been so busy painting and unpacking that I have had a lot of thinking time on my hands. My mind always ends up wandering to those left behind in China.... If you have been there you know what I am talking about. If you happened to visit an SWI you are even more aware of what I am talking about.

The worn out care givers, the 20 or so babies to one nanny, the kids staring vacantly, no smiles, the arms reaching out to be held. Flattened little heads from laying in a crib to long. You get the picture, right? And what about the kids that have special needs? What happens to those kids? Some are lucky, they are sent to foster care or have a charitable organization stepping in to help.

Our Gracie was one of those lucky ones. She was well taken care of. I am forever grateful to them for all they did for her. She came to us a well adjusted on target 22 mth old. I am not even going to go into Hope's SWI. I have no definite answers but know we are dealing with issues that will be with her a long time. I'm sure they did the best they could......

Which brings me to my next question, dilemma or whatever you want to call it. When does the desire to adopt again go away? When does the need to help or move on for lack of better word begin? When will I feel that yes, my family is complete? When will that happen? Yes, some of you are saying, are you crazy, you have five kids, love them, take care of them..

Some of you would say sponsor a child or donate to a cause that will help. Yes, that's great and the kids will be helped but what happens to them when they age out, what happens to their desires for a family, a place to belong...

I am taking care of my kids and do love them with all my heart, with everything that I have!! I would do anything for my kids. But, we have the resources to adopt. Sure we would do without a vacation or two for awhile and maybe my kids don't wear the super expensive designer clothes or all have cell phones, but really how important is that? And yes, I know that it's not just about getting them home that is expensive, it's a life long commitment. I know that. I also know that large families are at a disadvantage now a days.

However, I still can not get my heart and mind off China's orphans. I am not saying we will or won't adopt again. I am just saying I can't stop thinking about those left behind. And as my good friend Jutta would say, fifty years from now when you are sitting in your rocking chair, do you want to say, "I wish I would have done that?"

I am not ready to forget. I don't think I ever will or should......