I am very glad that I had to stay home today and wait for the FedEx man. It gave me a chance to rest up. Hope had a pretty rough night. She has always had night terrors but, last night was by far the worst yet. She was completely inconsolable. Nothing we did could get her to come out of it. She just kept writhing in pain and screaming and scratching at her legs. After about an hour of listening to her and trying to comfort her I ended up putting her into the car and driving to the ER. I was that scared. She came out of it about half way to the hospital. She looked at me and said where are we? I told her we were going to the doctors. She said " I don't want to go, that doctor, he hurt me and when I cried he hurt me more." She then told me he was a Chinese doctor like her and it was before Mama and Baba. I am constantly amazed at what she can remember. To give all of you background Hope was listed as special needs with club foot. We have the pictures, her feet were turned in. The SWI said they did some kind of therapy for her feet and we do have pictures of her feet through the process. I am not sure what they did but I know whatever it was was very painful for her. On family day I do remember looking at her ankles and seeing what looked like rope burns and major bruising around them and up her legs. She was also 19mths old and weighed only 17 pounds. It was very sad. I know they meant and did the best they could but it is still heart wrenching to know your child went through something terrible and you were not there to protect her.
Anyway, after turning around and coming home, I figured she would be up for a while so decided to start a book. It's called Daughter's of China. it's fictional but based on fact. Big mistake, I read it in one night but the descriptions of some of the orphanages made me ill. Then I had all sorts of nightmares about what Hope could have experienced and I couldn't sleep. Don't get me wrong it is a very good book as is the sequel, but I wish I had read it another time.
While I may never know what happened, I am extremely grateful that Hope is here and God looked out for her. Hope is an amazing daughter and I can't imagine my life without her.