Bonding and Family

Being honest about the home transition is tough in adoption land....Everyone wants to think it's all sunshine and roses. And mostly, it is. But when you adopt an older child it's a little different.


The child comes with preconceived notions and a whole slew of history that you were not apart of. And if you are lucky, your child was fostered and has learned to atttach and form relationships.

With J and I we had this dance, two steps forward one step back. Always with him doing great and then for no reason acting out and being, well just awful to me and some of his siblings.

Long story short our local adoption clinic gave us this wonderful book.

You can find the book by clicking on the picture.
It has been a life saver for us.  Seriously, overnight things have been more calm. Which is great, because with 7 kids when we have a little drama it turns into a lot of drama.

The book has also helped me understand quite a bit about my reactions to things and helped spin everything in a positive way. Which is a great thing.

adding an older child to the mix~

And I wouldn't consider J an older child necessarily. He is 6. Emotionaly more like 3 sometimes.

As much as we have had to adjust, he has had more adjustments. New language, new house, new clothing, new food....you get the idea.

He came to us eager to be excepted, eager to be loved. Wanting to fit in.

He seemed to want to forget China, saying that he wasn't Chinese but American.
It made me think that someone had told him to say this. That  he wouldn't be accepted if he did otherwise....

 

 

He experienced many firsts here with us.

 

                                                      And always seemed to smile.

                                                  And show us a bit of his funny side.

And his desire to be part of a family. He is good to his sister Rachel....they are two peas in a pod.

but every once in a while, I see that look in his eyes. The look that says he is scared. Or in deep thought.....

 

And it reminds me of how very much we missed and how long he waited to belong.

              Six long years~ six years that he could have spent with a family but did without.

                 And I promise you J, you wait no more and you will always be loved and be our son.


                    Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.

                                                                       Psalm 136

Autumn Fun~

                            Seems like summer has slipped by and Autumn has come already.

We have a busy October.....surgeries for one, genetics testing for another. In between homeschooling a few and finding our rhythm with #7. Which is a post for another time~

                                       Adoption isn't for the faint of heart. It is a journey.

So many firsts for our little 6 year old.....first lost tooth, first haircut, first wagon ride to the pumpkin patch.....

And these two.....goodness, I thought for sure Joshua would be close to Hope, who is only a year older than her....but he took to Rachel right away and I always find them close....giggling.

Conspiring, holding hands. I think he likes to look out for her. She is younger than him by 3 1/2 years. However they are emotionally about the same age.

Hope you are all having a great start to your fall. And if you think about it, say a prayer for our Gracie, she is having cleft surgery October 10. Hopefully her last.

And also Rachel, who will begin genetics testing once again in addition to a long list of medical tests.